Day 31- Sunday
"And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life,
It's like I just stepped outside,
When everything was going right"- Michael Buble
So the no crying rule didn’t last very long today. Cried reading a message from my brother in law. Didn't cry because I was sad though, like last night, but because it was such a lovely message. I am very lucky with Matt's family. They have welcomed me in from day 1 and I think of Simon as a big brother (well ,he is 1 month older than me!) and I would trust him with my life. He is also very good with my brother and sister and it's nice we can be one family together.
So here we go!
Writing live from the oncology suite at American hospital!.... Arrive at the hospital and it feels like I'm arriving for an exam. Both mum and I are nervous. Instantly feel at ease when I see nurse 'N' and Dr 'K'. They are positively reassuring. We discuss prognosis-the cancer has been removed by surgery and the chemo should kill off any floating cells. There is then about a 30% chance of reoccurrence. So generally prognosis is good. Dr 'K' says he is following the blog and he agrees that Dr Salti has to play himself as there is a certain something about him that no one else could capture.
We look at side effects again and Dr 'K' points out that the feeling of nausea is a learned response. This means if I give into nausea on the first cycle then my body will be expecting nausea every time. Need to keep on top of it and take medication at the first sign of nausea. I am warned that I should expect any side effects to start this evening.
Nurse 'N' is really gentle at removing the steri-strips and inserting the chemo needle. She warns me it may hurt but it doesn't at all. Maybe the area is still a little numb after the surgery. I'm happy though! Blood is taken from the portacath and fluid is flushed. This feels weird can feel the fluid moving across my chest!
So I am given 30 minutes of pre-meds- saline, anti-histamines, anti-emetic etc. And then the chemo starts. Nurse 'N' gowns up with apron and thick gloves so the chemo doesn't get on her! Slightly alarming that this toxin is about to be pumped into my veins! Two hours of folinic acid and oxaliplatin to start. I don't feel anything and my only thought is please don't let me have an allergic reaction and subsequent cardiac arrest with this medicine! Dramatic as always! But nothing happens!
There is a good atmosphere in this suite. I feel positive, confident and happy. Bump into Australian 'C' with her husband. Well, I say 'bump', me and her husband are in cubicles next to each other both having our first session. He has only had 4 hours sleep as went out drinking after the rugby yesterday! He looks quite rough and I don't think that's the chemo!
Dr Salti comes to visit! He is pleased with both scars. He hasn't read the blog for the last week as he is waiting for it to build up so he can read it one block. I tell him about the fundraising and he says he would like to get involved. He has already done his bit though- he has definitely saved more lives than my donation can ever hope to do! He seems particularly keen on a cap and he laughs at my slogan! Very nice of him to come and say "hi" and again just makes me feel like everyone really cares about me and I am not just another number on a patient list.
After 6 hours finally allowed home with my bag of chemo! Now the bag is very unattractive so thinking of buying a little Gucci number from Karama! Just have a little bit of tingling in the fingers. Feels like when you come in from the cold and your fingers feel a bit 'burny' whilst they are warming up. Only lasts an hour though.
My cousin 'M' comes to visit. I can confess now, as he has told his wife, that he broke 3 ribs at the rugby on the first day so ended up in an ambulance and no more rugby for the rest of the session! I am surrounded by people moaning about their ailments! 'M' and his ribs, Matt and his Achilles and mum thinking she was having a heart attack last night! PEOPLE, I AM THE ONE WITH CANCER! Although technically don't have much cancer but still it should be all about me surely!!!
Get home to a nice surprise of an orchid and a pair of sandals from 'Smiley knee' and 'A'. Such thoughtful people and 'Smiley knee' is even letting me use her driver to go to the hospital on Tuesday. I promise to love you FOREVER!
Speak to my dad, brother and sister. Tom has done his 5km. It went really well and he came 30th out of 500 so not a bad result for someone who has done no training! Well done Tom! My two aunties and cousins have also been collecting in Kingston so all in all lots of money raised for Beating Bowel Cancer today.
Hit my siblings with the news that their Christmas present is a colonoscopy at the American Hospital on 28th Dec! In fact this is so expensive it is their Christmas presents for the next 5 years! Run through the story of laxatives, wee like poo and a camera going 1m up your bottom! They are both thrilled!
Getting weaker and weaker as the evening goes on! Really weird- no pain, sickness etc just a feeling of weak shakey limbs and tiredness. May have to succumb and go to bed soon! Should be fun trying to sleep with a wire coming out of my chest attached to the bag. I will say goodnight and hope I am more energized tomorrow.
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