Rugby 7s

Day 29-Friday
Happy National Day to all my UAE friends! Dubai is 40 today!

Well neither of us were ill, although mum continued to feel bad for most of the night! Had a weird dream that a faceless patient asked me to sit with her baby while she ordered our coffee. I lent over to touch the baby and realized it wasn't there. Woke up stroking mum's leg! Mum was just lying there and I said "sorry I thought you were a baby" and she replied "thank god for that I was worried you thought I was Matt!" So funny we laughed so hard I hurt both of my scars!

The boys got home just before 2am and proceeded to bash around in the kitchen! Matt confesses that he looked up my chemo regime on the internet when he got in drunk! Not the best thing and he only manages to find negative comments like "FOLFOX was so bad I would have rather died". Great help!

Off to the rugby today so obviously today's song has to be….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVsYJjaAvFI&feature=related

Had such a good time at the rugby. Saw my cousin 'M'- he was in a vets team over from England. Nice to see some family. Managed to stay for about 7 hours. Eventually I was worried that all the drunk people may bash into me! Dubai certainly knows how to throw a party- dancers, parading camels and then sky divers landing on the pitch! Amazing!

Had a few perks of cancer today- jumped a queue for the toilet of about 20 girls (thanks to the very embarrassing 'R' and 'J'!) and then when we left jumped in front of about 50 people in the taxi queue!

Felt sad leaving, in fact had a little cry until people started looking at the girl crying in the wheelchair so pulled myself together! All just feels really real now. Next time I see my friends I would have started chemo. It is so daunting not knowing what the next 6 months may hold. I may be good, bad or terrible -I really don't know. Feel sad that we had to leave early and I was too tired to stay to see the band. After such a lovely day feel slightly deflated.

Planning on having a last sad day tomorrow. Going to watch 'My sister's keeper' and 'Marley and Me' and cry and feel sorry for myself. Then no more tears. I received an email from my brother in law's friend who has fought cancer as a teenager. She wrote " It's a draining process and there will of course be days when you're feeling tired and like you don't really want to take any more medicines, especially when they make you feel worse. But you have to keep strong and keep up that mental fight..because when your body feels tired it will be your mind that kicks in to keep you going. It's mind over matter..remember what you're doing it for - for your family and friends and yourself". Really positive advice which I plan on taking. So any bad negative thoughts will be cried out tomorrow and then I'm ready for the fight.