Resolutions

Day 59- 1st January
Happy New Year! Had a good night last night. Even managed to dance for half an hour before my weak legs turned to jelly! Felt sad at midnight and had a little cry before going to bed. Bit rubbish starting the year with cancer. Got a horrible 5 months ahead of me and it is hard to feel excited about a new year starting when really I can't start my new year until June. I cry because I don't want cancer and I have the "it's not fair" feelings. But…… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIj-6fr2SlI

Time to write my new year's resolution. They are normally the same every year: eat less, go to gym more!
1) Beat cancer!
2) Eat a healthy diet with minimum red meat and high fibre
3) Maintain my weight under 8 1/2 stone
4) During my good non-chemo week- do the cross trainer for 15 minutes 3 times, do arm weights 3 times and do pilates matt work 3 times
5) Only eat one bar of chocolate a day!
6) Learn some more Arabic words
7) Have more fun!- play more wii, go to more comedy nights and more dinner parties with friends
8) Continue to raise money for Beating bowel cancer

Tom, Holly & Pedro go home tonight. Will be sad to see them go. Really enjoyed having them here and pleased I have felt so good whilst they are here. May not see them again now until the summer. We have a competitive family game of wii bowling. I lose, annoyingly.

Head out for a Haagen dazs. Last cold bit of food for the next week. Also eat a load of chocolate today so I get on the cross trainer for 10 minutes. Fitness wise I felt OK and could have done more but my legs go to wobbly jelly! Have definitely put on weight over the Christmas period and not looking forward to the scales tomorrow!

I bought some Neutrogena oil free moisturizer (as recommended by colleague 'D') to use with my camel soap and it has already helped clear up some of my skin. Most of the spots have been on my neck and jaw line which is a random place I have never had spots before. Holly got told by her dentist that spots in this area can be related to mouth ulcers and inflamed gums- both of which are side effects of my chemo. Looking it up, stress can also cause spots in this area as well as spots in the eyebrows. I have had some spots in the eyebrows too. So definitely chemo and stress causing my skin problems.

My hair is definitely thinning too. Didn't notice after the first session but coming out in handfuls when I wash my hair since last session. Feels really thin now when I run my fingers through it. Bit depressing as I have nice hair. Luckily I had quite a lot of hair to start with so hopefully won't go bald.

Have to choose my chemo player to beat for tomorrow. I am going for Van Persie. May be a tough fight! So here we go again……………