Boost in the bra department

Day 179- Monday

Today is the opening party for TKD! Mum and I are very excited for our afternoon out as mum hasn't been to the shop and there is a lovely shop in the same mall that sells bits Mum and I love- shabby chic!

Matt is still ill, not getting better, so I go with him to the doctors. Worse place for me to be, in a doctors waiting room, with my lowered immunity, but I sit still and don't touch anything! The doctor reports that the ulcers on Matt's tonsils have got worse and they want to do a blood test to rule out any nasty virus and he may need IV antibiotics later.

Well the performance of the blood test. I thought my brother was bad when he needed a cannula for the colonoscopy- sweat, near fainting and near vomiting for those that don't remember! By the way, when I skyped my brother last night he had another 'rash' on his arm he wanted me to look at! I tell you, the men in my family! They need to remember that I am the sick one! Anyway, back to Matt! Before the blood test he sent me across the road to get him something to eat as he thought he was going to faint. Fine, I come backed armed with sugar- a mountain dew and a mars bar. I try to calm him before the procedure (the nurse thinks he is mad!) but already he has gone yellow and sweaty. Eventually the blood is taken but only after I have to be strict telling him to calm down and the practice manager comes in to check if he needs to lie down as he doesn't look good!

Matt and I often comment that it is just as well I have the cancer and not him as he couldn't cope, and today was a fine example of that! There is no way he could manage with the big needle being stuck in his chest for 2 days, whilst a chemical so strong that it will burn your skin is administered by a nurse gowned head to toe so they aren't contaminated! Rant over, I'm brave, Matt isn't! In all seriousness though (religious thought coming up!) maybe only those that are strong enough to deal with an illness are given one? Just a thought.

With wife duty over, and my baby tucked up on the couch with a sandwich, mum and I head out for our day of fun! TKD looks lovely, all decorated with bunting and a café from the mall have donated the most gorgeous mini cup cakes and juices. Whilst mum gets measured I have my nails painted for free! For those of you on facebook, there is the most horrendous picture of me with the steroid moon face on full display! In the process of trying to get yummy mummy 'K' to remove it! Although I may get a copy and stick it on the fridge to stop me eating ever again! Yes, it is that bad! Not that anything seems to be stopping my eating at the moment! Mum and I have been on 'low GI' for this week. Now this is a sensible diet that stabilizes your blood sugars and you are allowed to eat loads of things. In fact I have printed us out a list- most fruits and veg, all 'brown/wholewheat' carbs, all meat fish and diary, and even chocolate. Plenty of things to keep us full. But somehow we have managed to cheat every day, with today being no exception! Being locked up for a week, when I finally make it out all I want to do is eat cake or muffins in a nice coffee shop! Today the mini cup cakes where so good I had to follow them up with a slice of chocolate cake! At least I didn't eat a two person portion like mum! Long story, but there was confusion over our order and they thought we wanted carrot cake big enough for us both to share. After joking about the size, and talks of bringing it home in a goodie bag, mum managed to polish it off! Oh well the diet can always start tomorrow!

Anyway, back to TKD, and I had a pleasant surprise in the bra department! Managed to leave with a smaller back size and bigger cup size! Have to boast (!) that I am now, according to Natalie the expert, a 30E!!! Can you believe it- sounds so impressive! Probably just made up of cake but who cares! Until I was 21 I was as flat as an ironing board so I still get excited by having boobs! So now if I can lose half a stone from my arms, tummy, bum and thighs and keep my boobs I will be looking good in time for my return to England. I fear that what will happen is, if I can ever get round to doing the diet, I will lose my chest only!

We spend the rest of the afternoon buying nail varnish- a set of pastel colours (yes, I am a sucker for 'sales' talk! Went in there for baby blue and came out with a set of 6 pastel colours as they were 'reduced'. Matt always winds me up about this. Once, years ago, we had a trial martial arts lesson. After the session, the marketing/sales genius told us "you are in luck because for March only you can buy a course of 6 for a reduced price in our special one-off March promotion". Well this sounded great to me and I was willing to sign up immediately, even though I had nearly died in the session, just to get the amazing March discount! Matt later pointed out that they would say that every month to fool idiots like me! Fooled I was! Nothing like getting a bargain, even if you don't need it!), and some pictures for frames I have for the lounge. All in all a great afternoon and we are out for hours.

On our return home, matt has heard from the doctors. He doesn’t have a virus, it is definitely bacterial and they want him to come straight in for IV antibiotics. Here we go again! I give him the 'be brave' pep talk on the way there and he does better. There are no tears, sweat or vomiting, just a little gasping and grimacing! He gets a teddy bear plaster for being a brave boy! Hopefully this extra strong dose of antibiotics works as he has been ill now for over a week.

Finish the evening with a lovely beef casserole- I think mum's best achievement yet, and 'The Voice'. Perfect end to a perfect day.

Today's quote- 'Don't count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count'. (This is going to be my new life plan!)

Lu Lu's

Day 178- Sunday

Bring Buddy to the vets to have his stitches out. There is a patch of grass outside and he loves it- rolling around, not wanting to leave! Feel quite sorry for him returning to the sandpit!

I feel better today, Matt doesn't, his throat is not improving. So we leave Matt at home watching the golf and we head out food shopping. We decide to go to Lu Lu's- haven't been there before. Mum and I get a little excited. This supermarket is amazing. Really clean and quiet and extra cheap! In my magazine the other day Olay serum got top marks and beat other more expensive serums. It was priced nearly 32 pounds in the UK but we found it today for 15 pounds! Hence we stocked up! Also found myself some hair loss shampoo to try. I know it is a bit late in the game but my hair is in a terrible way. Praying that it just holds on for the last cycle.

Bought the dogs 2 really big bones. Give them to them when we get in and it takes them over an hour just to eat 1/5^th! We eventually have to take them off them as Malika looks like she is going to collapse with the exertion of chewing!

Watch 'Next' with Nicolas Cage (quite good), walk the dogs with Buddy's new harness (much better control of him) and now off to bed! What an interesting life I lead!  

Film day

Day 177- Saturday

Feel slightly better today so mum and I head to Starbuck's for breakfast and to enjoy a read in the sun before it gets too hot. I was discussing this with yummy mummy 'J' the other day- there is nothing more I love than relaxing and reading a whole magazine. I find it so relaxing and I am always disappointed when the magazine is finished! I find it such a luxury and I love it. Perfect start to the day.

Unfortunately for the rest of the day I am quite fatigued. Manage to do my nails, although I have to force myself. Find that I have to do that quite a lot with fatigue these days. Give myself a little pep talk and force myself to do things I feel too tired to do. Still I guess this is just the mental game against chemo.

Watch a couple of films- Sex and the city (forgot how good the first one was) and the Girl with the dragon tattoo (really good film). Matt has to go to the doctors again today as his throat is not getting better. Now they have told him he has tonsillitis and a virus with throat ulcers. And the cure- anti-histamines apparently! Do worry about some doctors here. Anyway hopefully I am better tomorrow to look after him a bit. This really is the sick house.

Holly moves out

Day 176- Friday

Still don't feel great today. Feel a little upset about the future. So scared that I have been waiting for the end of chemo to come only to have to face surgery, or worse still, a reoccurrence of cancer. So desperate to get my life back but I'm not getting back the same life. My life won't ever be the same again. There is always going to be the worry of cancer coming back. I know I can't live like that and cancer has definitely changed the way I view life for the better but just wish I could go back to not worrying about illness or the future. Then I hear a story of someone losing their fight against bowel cancer and I feel so incredibly guilty. They would love to be in my position and to just be given a chance.

Holly is moving out today. Really sad to see her go. I haven't lived with Holly since I was 18 and she was 9! It has been really nice having her here with her distractions, funny stories and generally just making us laugh. I feel like I have got to know her better as well. It is difficult being so much older than her and Tom as I was at uni when they were teenagers and they always view me as the much older sister rather than part of their 'gang'. Glad she has moved in with the lovely 'D' though (even though she is stealing my friends) and looking forward to seeing her new apartment this week. Was meant to be driving her to the apartment but just don't feel well enough.

Having to cool off with my exercise regime a little as I have managed to hurt my hamstrings! I tell you being this unfit and untoned is hard work!

Nausea

Day 175- Thursday

Matt off work today. Have a day of nausea. Not sure why. Also have a little 'feel sorry for myself' cry just before my snooze. Know that I am nearly there and should therefore have my spirits up but just feel a bit down today. Fed up with everything.

Tonsillitis for Matt

Day 174- Wednesday

Pretty much the same as yesterday just a little more tired. Mum has finished the blinds and is now putting them up. They look good.

Matt has had a sore throat for a few days and there is a case of Scarlett fever at his school. He has been wearing a mask to stop me catching anything but this afternoon he has popped to the doctors to see if he needs antibiotics. Doctor has diagnosed tonsillitis so Matt is now on medicine for 10 days. Fingers crossed I don't catch anything.

Nothing exciting to report. Watched a film, done my exercises and had a snooze. Pretty much groundhog day here!

OK day

Day 173- Tuesday

Wake with a bit of an upset tummy today. Head back to bed for a few hours and that seems to sort it out. Just feeling tired now with slight nausea. Off to have my pump out now.

Manage an hour of leg and arm strengthening with some pilates with mum. Buddy spends the whole time barking at us and Malika keeps trying to sit on the mat!

Not too bad a day so hoping tomorrow is good aswell.

Busy day

Day 172- Monday

Feel ok today. Kept myself busy. Did some work for Up and Running's website, sent some emails, watched a few Great British menu's and wrote out a low GI list for mum and I to follow. And had some very exciting news, my good friend 'dad' has got engaged! And I am going to be a bridesmaid! So happy for dad and 'C' and can't wait to be involved in their special day.

Manage to do my pilates and lower limb strengthening regime and take the dogs for a walk. All in all a productive day.

Mum and Holly go out for dinner as it Holly's first pay day. Left to our own devices Matt has a jacket potato for dinner and I have an omelette. Lazy! But we  finish with M&S melting chocolate pots! Well I have been good all day with salad for lunch and lots of fruit!

Today's quote-' Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open'.

To do list

Day 171-Sunday

Penultimate chemo today! The new nurse 'M' does my portacath pump insertion. I am his first patient in Dubai and I remind myself that we all have to start somewhere and we all need someone to be our first. A little nervous though! But he was brilliant. Minimal discomfort and I score him a 9/10!

Read a magazine, have a snooze, go to the toilet a lot (!) and speak to nurse 'N' about some queries I have about the patient information booklets. She thinks they are a good idea and will help other patients.

Have been thinking about the things I am looking forward to doing once chemo has finished. Need to write them down as I keep forgetting!

1.   Sunbathing and swimming in our pool

2.   Going clothes shopping without the wheelchair

3.   Doing exercise and getting stronger

4.   Returning to work

5.   Having the house to ourselves

6.   Cooking a meal on my own

7.   Doing housework (true!)

8.   Going out dancing

9.   Meeting friends for lunch whenever I want

For some reason my computer won't let me do point 10!

1.   Going to a Ladies night with friends

2.   Having nights away in another emirate (just booked a nights stay in Fujairah)

3.   Playing with dogs and doing puppy training with Buddy

4.   Taking supplements to make my hair grow back

5.   Starting a new face regime to clear up my skin

These are just a few things to get going with! Then I have to start my 'second chance of life list'! Including things like doing a skydive, going in a cage with sharks swimming around, swimming with dolphins, going on safari, skiing more and visiting Italy. Will be very busy over the next year!

Feel just a little tired and weak. Feel a bit fed up with starting all the meds again tonight. I know they are all there to help me but I hate taking so many things. Got to keep focused that I only need to do this once more after this cycle.

After watching The Apprentice and having a quick walk with the dogs I head to bed with a new book.

Take away again!

Day 170- Saturday

Had a restless night for some reason and wake feeling really tired. Busy day at work today. I am doing 6 hours which is the most I have worked since October in one go. Manage fine though and the time flies.

The gas runs out half way through mum cooking roast and we can't get anymore tonight, so take away it is! I have Indian and everyone else has pizza. Watch TOWIE whilst I eat which I love.

Getting myself psyched up for tomorrow. Praying that it is good as the last cycle. Going to try and do everything the same and keep fingers crossed.

My chemo player for tomorrow is Tottenham's Kyle Walker. Can't believe I only have 2 weeks until the last one. Never thought this time would come.

Clothes shopping

Day 169- Friday

We had a lovely evening. The resort is amazing. They have loads of outdoor relaxation areas with cushions, swings and little water features. We started with drinks, Caribbean mocktail for me, on their roof top terrace listening to the live music. The sky is beautiful and it is so peaceful. I could stay in this bar forever. I realize that I appreciate quiet a lot more these days. I can switch off my mind a lot more and appreciate my surroundings. Sounds a bit cheesey but it's true. I used to be someone who had to have constant noise around them, always had the TV or radio on for background noise.

Dinner is lovely and Matt says it is the best naan bread he has ever had! After dinner we sit on a swing in one of the relaxation areas and just relax! Really nice to have the evening to ourselves and we keep cancer talk to the minimum.

It is things like tonight that I want to do more of when I am better. Nice little treats where we can relax and just enjoy being together.

Matt and I head to the mall to buy him some more day clothes. He ends up buying new shoes as well. Will keep this logged as I will need some new clothes once I have lost weight!

Mum, Holly and I watch 3D Titanic. Minimal 3D effect and therefore no real difference from the original. Bit of a waste of time and money really. Matt has gone out for a football brunch so I am going to head to bed to read and hope he is quiet when he comes in!

Happy Birthday Matt!

Day 168- Thursday

Matt's 30^th today! Happy Birthday baby!

Work today! Have a great morning. Have to do some full assessments and it feels really good to use my brain in that way. I leave work feeling really happy and positive. Feel like I have the world at my feet and I sing along to the radio. The radio is my test. On my bad week I can't sing along at all to songs and Matt always knows when I am improving when I can sing along.

Pick Buddy up from the vets. He has to come back in 10 days for his stitches out. He comes home and completely ignores Malika. Last time she hurt him he ran straight back in and over to her. Today he doesn't even acknowledge her at all. It is actually really funny as he won't even look in her direction. It is about time he stood up to her and I am glad.

Get home and lay out Matt's presents on the table. He isn't meant to be having presents as he has had them all already- new driver, kite surfing lessons and a scuba dive. But I can't help buying a few things from Buddy and Malika- a shirt, a new work bag and a new phone. Since being here Matt has had really rubbish cheap phones as we just have pay as you go. I still have my Blackberry from England. So I decide to treat him to a touch screen LG phone.

Now I need to get ready for our night out. We are going to the Indian restaurant Masala at Bab al Shams. Bab al Shams is a spa resort in the desert about 30 minutes from where we live. I have been wanting to go there for age. It looks beautiful but it is really expensive to stay there. We decide we are going to get there early so we can watch the sun set over the desert.

Today's quote- ' The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination'.

Kite surfing

Day 167- Wednesday

Take Buddy for his post-op check. Everything healing well! Come home to get ready for Mall of Emirates. Mum needs to buy Matt a present still so more shopping today! Decide to bring the chair with us today though.

We have the biggest Thai salad for lunch at California Pizza Kitchen. We can't finish but it is so good you don't want to stop eating! Glad I am in my wheelchair to be pushed around as I am soo full! However, after another hour we have an ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery! Couldn't resist!

Pick Matt up from school and go to the beach for his kite surfing lesson. This is part of his birthday present. Mum and I sit on sunbeds watching. The whole 2 hour lesson is how to use the kite. Boring to watch but Matt has a good time. Feel really relaxed after reading on the beach and we decide to have take out when we get in. Just realized how 'Americanised' I'm becoming- take away for my English readers!!!

As we park in our garage the dogs don't bark. This normally means they have done something naughty. But as we open the door we hear them fighting. Matt runs in and Malika is attacking Buddy. She has punctured his face just below his eye. We phone the emergency vet, again! And we have to rush him round. We try the local vets at the Polo club. We were really impressed with them and will be using them from now on.  It is decided that he needs an operation to stitch it up so we leave him there for the evening. Malika is costing us a fortune in vet bills for Buddy, I feel so sorry for him. This is his second operation this week.

Get home and no longer feel relaxed. Malika has ruined the evening. Head to bed early worrying about Buddy.

Nearly there

Day 166- Tuesday

Had a great dinner and catch up last night with lots of laughs. Wake this morning with the biggest hair you have ever seen. Me rolling around on the pillow combined with the half bottle of spray we used yesterday has resulted in back combed looking hair! Decide just to pat it down and go with the big hair today!

Mum and I head to the mall to get some presents for some special people (all will be revealed at a later date!). I decide at the last minute not to take the chair and I do struggle a little. Dubai mall is so big and we went to shops we didn't know so lots of walking around. We try a Papa Roti, on yummy mummy 'J's recommendation and the 'bun' was delicious. Will definitely be taking Matt and Holly there.

Watch The Voice over dinner and today's song is from the show. This guy is amazing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvfBxXvD9cI&feature=relmfu

I share out yummy mummy 'J's chocolates after dinner. They don't come with descriptions so it is a little guessing game! There are 6 left for tomorrow night so we all get one then there is going to be a dance-off for the extra one! How we entertain ourselves in this house!

Mum's flights are all booked to go home at the end of May once chemo is done and Holly has found a flat and is moving out next weekend. That means by June 1^st our house will be our own again! Only 2 1/2 weeks until my last chemo! WOO HOO!

The best day

Day 165- Monday

Have a busy day today. Lunch with yummy mummy 'J', coffee with a Uni friend who I haven't seen for about 8 years who is here on her Honeymoon and then dinner with yummy mummy 'K' and her husband!

I can't go back to sleep after Matt leaves so I get up and mum trims my hair. It hasn't really grown in the last few months but we are hoping that by removing the straggly ends it will look thicker! It only takes her 10 minutes to cut the lot! Then we try a henna hair treatment, some volumising hair spray and a bouffant style blow dry. The result- definitely thicker looking!

Have a lovely day. Have a great lunch and a good catch up with yummy mummy 'J'. She very naughtily buys me chocolates and tells me all the best places in Dubai Mall to buy cake! So nice to be normal and discuss other people's lives. Baby 'A' is gorgeous and a real boy. He has a naughty glint in his eye and a cheeky smile. I am lucky that I have such supportive lovely people around me in Dubai and I can't wait to be well so I can start socializing with them more.

Then pick up Matt and head to the Westin. I haven't seen 'L' since uni and I have never met her husband. Spend a lovely few hours sitting at the pool bar over looking the sea, having drinks and mocktails for me, talking about our lives. Really nice to get to know 'L' better and we arrange to meet up for a 'Red Rose' (the best curry in Surbiton, where I am from in the UK!) in August when we are home. Although I haven't spoken to 'L' in years she has been really supportive during my illness and it is just another example of how bad news makes you aware of great people around you.

Now we are off for our dinner date! Really has been the best day!

Today's quote-' Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore'.

Poor Buddy

Day 164- Sunday

Poor Buddy is brought to the vets. He is desperate to get in the door but after today I bet it is a lot harder to get him in! The operation takes about 30 minutes and they are going to phone when he is awake. We leave him being dragged off by the nurse. She is a nice lady who explained everything well so I trust her to look after my baby!

I have plans to do some work and mum plans to carry on making our blinds but we end up sitting in Starbucks for an hour reading magazines then watch films all day! Before we know it, it is time to pick up Buddy and Matt!

Buddy's op has been a success but I feel sorry for the little fella! We have had to put a cone on him again as he keeps trying to lick the wound and then crying to let us all know it hurts!

Decide that from tomorrow I have to start an exercise programme of lying and seated exercises. My legs are so weak that after sitting for a while I struggle to get up. I don't want to get to the end of chemo and be too weak to do anything. Also if I need surgery I need to be as strong as possible. I am literally the worse patient because if I had been my patient this never would have happened. I would have given daily exercises from the beginning that could have been modified according to fatigue levels and I would still be relatively strong now. Anyway, can't change the past so just need to get on with it now.

Today's quote-' There are no shortcuts to any place worth going'.

Blue Saturday

Day 163- Saturday

Don't sleep very well. Keep dreaming that I can't get to sleep and end up thinking about liver surgery. This then never helps me get to sleep. Wake feeling a bit depressed and lie in bed thinking about my future. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and as a result just don't feel so good in myself. Just think I hope I am not going through all this just to get bad news in the end. Have a little cry. It's weird how waves of sadness come over me. I think it's as I am approaching the end of chemo it is making me think that it may not be the end of treatment, like initially hoped. Feel the usual sad, frustrated and angry. Deceived and cheated by my body that was just slowly letting me die without too many symptoms. Need to buck myself up and get on with my day.

Feel like I am cheating people who think I am inspirational and being positive. Don't feel very inspirational, just feel like a negative nancy! I am just doing what I have to do to get through the day, tick another day off the calendar, waiting for my life to start again. Written like that, doesn't sound very inspirational does it!

Head to the beach for an Up and Running staff day out. Good to catch up with everyone and Matt does some surfing. It starts off cloudy but the sun soon comes out. Before I know it I am burnt! Time to go home and have a snooze!

Grand national horse race in UK today so we choose our horses for my brother to bet on. I choose Hello Bud (for my baby!), Chicago Grey (for the American Hospital) and then my outsider is Tharawaat (as it sounds like an Arabic word!). Keeping my fingers crossed. Doesn't work as I don't win! Horrible race to watch and a few horses die.

 Finish the weekend with a lovely shepherd's pie and The Voice. Up early tomorrow as Buddy is going in to be castrated!

Busy Friday 13th

Day 162- Friday

Wake feeling good with the sun shining and birds singing. This is why I love being in Dubai. Decide to get up and get myself showered first thing so I am ready for the day.

We head out to the fair and meet 'R' and 'J' for coffee. I feel good so we stop of at Shakespeare & Co for lunch on the way home. The plan is to see Titanic 3D tonight at the cinema. Unfortunately when we get there it is booked up so we see The best exotic Marigold hotel instead. It is a good film and has us laughing. We go to the premier cinema where you get recliner seats, pillows and blankets and served hot food at your chair! Only in Dubai!

Get lost coming home and it takes us an hour. My eye sight has been getting progressively worse although Dr K assures me it is nothing to do with chemo. Still I think it is now safer that I don't drive at night until I have been re-tested. Tom just had to get glasses for the computer and I laughed at him so this is probably karma!

Good week

Day 161- Thursday

Feeling ok. Been really pleased with this week. Definitely the best chemo week so far. Maybe it is the vitamins I have started taken or the red meat! Such a relief to feel half human though.

Forget to have my walk and by the time I remember it is bed time and I am soo tired. Early night so hopefully good tomorrow as there is a craft fair we want to go to.

OK day

Day 160-Wednesday

No feeling too bad today which is really good. A little tired but no nausea. In fact I keep forgetting to take my nausea meds because I feel OK.

Spend over an hour trying to book our flights to return in August! After 4 attempts it won't let us pay and when we then phone to book they try to charge us 70 pounds for booking on the phone! Stressful waste of time. Will have to try again tomorrow!

Watched a few films today as well. Coped well today so fingers crossed for an alright day tomorrow. Think I am coping better as I know I am getting close to the end so feel more upbeat. Also my body must be getting more used to it. Long may this continue!

Had a quick walk with the dogs but really humid tonight. Don't want it to get too hot over the next month otherwise I will have to stop the walks altogether.

Today's quote- ' Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday'.

End in sight

Day 159- Tuesday

Pump out day. Spend about an hour and half at the hospital sorting out my colonoscopy date- booked for 23^rd May. Actually have an alright day with minimal nausea. Feel tired but nothing unexpected. Manage to do more research for patient booklet again so hopefully next week I can actually start writing it.

Nothing major to report- have a walk, water the flowers and eat an M & S chocolate pot! Been better with eating my 5 a day and trying to drink more water.

10 down and 2 to go. Never thought I would have the end in sight.

Full of tablets

Day 158- Monday

Feeling Ok today. In fact forget to take my anti-nausea tablets! After my afternoon snooze managed to finish my scrap book, so it is all up to date, and start researching info for my patient handout. All in all quite a productive day.

Skype Tom and Tash and Tom needs glasses for computer work. Hilarious as he doesn’t look too good in glasses! Still I can't laugh as I'm sure my eyes have got worse since me being on the computer so much these days and I really don't suit glasses! I tried to blame it on the chemo but Dr K said chemo doesn’t affect the eye sight. Old age then!

Started some more meds today to help with the neuropathy hopefully and a multivitamin. So now means on my bad few days I will be taking 13 tablets a day!

Chocolate- zero, reversy percy pigs- 3, walks -1.

Today's quote- ' The past is history, the future is a mystery and today is a gift... that is why they call it the present'.

Goodbye

Day 157- Sunday

Matt takes mum and I to chemo and we all have breakfast  whilst waiting for my blood results. My haemoglobin is lower again  so they warn me I may be a little more tired. I weigh myself and I have put on nearly 8kg! Disgusting! And my chemo is weight dependent so today I will be given a slightly larger dose for my increased weight! Own fault!

Have a lovely sleep in the comfy hospital bed then head home to relax. All our visitors are leaving tonight so we have a farewell dinner in Shakespeare & Co. I have lasagna as I have been told to eat a little more red meat just for the next month to help my iron levels.

I think everyone has enjoyed themselves and it was good I managed to come out the last few days. No more visitors now so just need to battle on and look forward to seeing everyone in August when we are home.

Today's quote- ' Life doesn't guarantee happiness, it just gives time and space and it is up to us to fill it with joy and meaning'.

Bags, bags, bags!

Day 156- Saturday

We had a great time yesterday and I managed to stay out until 10pm. It was our first time at the 'Spectrum on one' brunch and I was really impressed. They gave us the options of two different tables and the choice of food was excellent. I had a seafood starter, a Chinese and Thai starter, then Thai curry and Indian for main course, followed by a selection of puddings! Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves and I did party bags which went down a treat!

We then headed over to Barasti and had great seats on the beach. On the way we did a detour to show Matt's family his school.

It was s good to catch up with friends and get to know Matt's friends better. It was one month yesterday until my last chemo session and I can't wait until I feel well enough to go out regularly and enjoy myself. 'J' and 'R' have proposed 12 ladies nights to make up for the 12 chemos!

After work we take everyone bag shopping. They have loads of new bags and I fall in love with a Chloe bag. Have decided that Chloe is my favourite bag designer! Everyone treats themselves to something and the Chloe bag is quite reasonable so Matt says I can treat myself. Head back upstairs to pick it up and two other women have just taken the last two! So annoying. Going to head back on my next good week to buy!

As it is everyone's last evening we go to The Mango Tree Thai restaurant overlooking the Dubai fountains. The meal is lovely and they get to see the 'Thriller' fountain show.

Home late for chemo in the morning but at least I will be in the bed so I can sleep! My chemo player this week is Arsenal's Thomas Vermaelen.

Party time!

Day 155- Friday

Brunch time! Starts early so I am going to spend the next two hours getting ready at a slow pace so I don't tire myself out. So excited to actually being doing something fun! Even bought fake eyelashes for today. Had a practice last night and one end keeps peeling off and flicking up! Not a good look so maybe I will avoid!

Will tell you all about it tomorrow!

Matt's choice of song today- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YC8FET-EGVM&ob=av3e

Babies

Day 154- Thursday

Could not sleep last night. Not sure why but it is very hot. Up early for work forgetting it is school holidays so there is no traffic! Get to work 40 minutes early- annoying!

Get to see yummy mummy 'L' again and yummy mummy 'D' for the first time since her baby was born. They both bring babies with them so I get to meet the beautiful 'G' who I have known since the second trimester! And cheeky little chappy 'C'. LOVE babies! A patient tells me I have lost weight in the last two weeks so at least there is one perk of having food poisoning! Cue the beginning of the diet?????!!!

Matt and his family and friends are at Wild Wadi and I admit I am feeling rather sorry for myself. I love Wild Wadi and I know they will be having so much fun. Missing out on all the good stuff and it is getting me down. Tonight they are heading out for an Indian then on for a few drinks.  There is no point in me going as I can't eat the Indian and I can only drink water. Have a little cry then pull myself together. Only one month tomorrow until my last chemo session and I get my life back.

Have a nice long bath with a face pack and do some ironing (I must be bored!) as I watch a film. Tomorrow is Matt's early 30^th brunch so I want an early night so I feel as good as I can.

More saline

Day 153- Wednesday

More diarrhea so have to head back to hospital for more saline. Means I have to miss the high tea cruise which we had planned. Bummer. Given Imodium now as they are pretty sure it was food poisoning and not a parasite. Hopefully does the trick.

Manage to do my hair bouffant style and join everyone at Dubai mall for some fountain viewing. We watch the fountains in day light, see the aquarium and do a spot of shopping. Bought mint green nail varnish as mum told me pastels are big this season! I'm in my chair as legs are soo weak. We then head back to the fountains and have a lovely dinner watching them for an hour or so. Another of Matt's friends is arriving tonight so everyone heads to his hotel to have a few drinks. Matt and I head home though as I have work tomorrow.

Had a nice relaxing evening and we have almost persuaded more people to move to Dubai!