New mall

Day 149- Saturday

Went to Ibn Battuta mall for lunch. First time I have been to that mall and it was good. Much quieter than the other malls and had some good shops. I am so desperate to shop but have zero energy to even get out of my chair.

Home in time for my snooze and a spot of Mario Kart! We take Buddy for a walk around the lake and he manages to pull me along. Hilarious, he is like a mini huskie!

Watch 'The Voice' and I think I prefer it to x-factor. Time for a quick ice-cream and then off to bed!

Depressing house

Day 148- Friday

Today is not a good day. My throat is still sore. Really tired and spend most of the day on the bed again. Starting to panic that I am not going to feel better for Matt's friends and family coming. Meeting my potential future sister-in-law (!) for the first time and wanted to be on good form. Don't want to be the boring person sitting in the corner with no banter.

This really is the most depressing house. Holly and Matt escape today to go to the hygienist! Have acupunctured mum today so we will see if that helps.

Today's quote- 'Turn you cant's into cans and your dreams into plans'.

sore throat

Day 147- Thursday

Wake with a sore throat. Get up and then snooze on the couch for 3 hours!

Mum's arm is still bad so we are the boring house just sitting around sleeping and moaning!

Malika has her check up at the vets. They are not completely happy so the bandage goes back on for another 3 days.

Matt has broken up today for 10 days Easter holiday.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day.

Poor mum

Day 146- Wednesday

Been really tired today. Needed a pre-lunch and post lunch snooze.

Mum has really hurt her shoulder and can't sleep or use it. We have her on the anti-inflammatories, pendular exercises and heat but she is refusing to let me acupuncture her! Hoping it will settle over next few days or will have to try to get her in to Up and Running.

So the house is dusty and we have both sat around doing nothing all day! What a pair!

Really humid again today but manage to have a bit of a walk and then Matt pushes me around the lake. Just in time for sun setting and a slightly cooler breeze.

Today's quote- ' work like you don't need money, love like you you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching'.

Tablet taking

Day 145- Tuesday

Not much to report today. Get up and shower ready to go to the hospital for pump out. Loads of hair falls out again. 'Smiley knee' has kindly loaned us her driver to take me to the hospital again, so we arrive in luxury.

Trying to be better with taking my tablets. It has been taking me 5-10 minutes to psyche myself up before taking them. Not really sure why as I am good at taking tablets. Think it is just depressing taking so many even though I know they are there to help me.

Finally found a drink to make me drink more, lime cordial, and now Spinney's have run out. Typical! Trying white grape and apple instead but a bit sickly.

The weather is hot again so I only manage one walk once the sun has gone down. We have even needed the air con on quite a lot today. Still it is good weather for Matt's family and friends coming next week.

Malika is really struggling with her cone collar. She is hitting into everything and finding it difficult to rest her head down to sleep. She has also found a way to keep licking her foot so we have had to put a sock on her over the bandage! Buddy also keeps trying to pull the collar off for her!  

Today's quote- ' Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get'.

A vet visit

Day 144- Monday

Wake up and I am not feeling too bad. The weather is really cool and overcast after a thunder storm last night. Have a walk with the dogs and manage a few small jobs around the house.

As the weather is cool we decide to head to the Polo club for lunch. Mum pushes me most of the way apart from the mad dash across the road!

Malika has to go to the vets as her paw is still sore. She has to have her claw frozen off. Poor Malika now has her paw wrapped up and is on antibiotics. She needs to have the bandage  changed on Thursday.

I hear back from the American Hospital and they want me to produce the written text for the patient handouts. Really good news and I will be busy compiling this for the next few weeks. Hopefully this will help a lot of future bowel cancer patients and their families.

Today's quote- ' Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'.

The maid is back!

Day 143- Sunday

Head to chemo and mum arrives from the airport at the same time as me. Dr K comes to speak to me straight away about the neuropathy. It is decided that the Oxaliplatin will be reduced and maybe even stopped next time depending on my symptoms. But, unfortunately I will need all 12 sessions  even if it is just the other drugs. I was secretly (and not so secretly) hoping that I could finish after 10!

My bloods are generally better today with my absolute neutrophil count (the white blood cells that fight infection) being within normal limits for the first time since chemo began. Two of my liver function tests have also improved. Haemoglobin is slightly lower but overall my bloods have been quite positive today.

When we get home Buddy has forgotten who mum is and is actually a little bit scared. I think mum is a little upset by this. Malika remembers though and even wets herself with the excitement! She landed awkwardly when she was jumping up at the girl's suitcases earlier and has hurt her paw. It looks like she has bent one of the nails. She has spent the whole afternoon licking it. Going to see how she manages over night and she may need to see a vet tomorrow.

Mum gets straight to work and cleans the whole villa! Relax with another Indian take away!

Girls holiday

Day 140-Thursday

Get up early to go to work. Leave the girls to head to the pool. Air is still really sandy but sun is trying to come through. Get home at lunchtime and they are still in their PJs! They didn't think it was sunny enough to sunbathe!

Head to Shakespeare & Co for lunch and then on to Karama. The girls love it and buy two bags each. I treat myself to some Cartier sunglasses! By the time we get home I feel too weak to head to Barasti, as was our plan. So we head to Spinney's and we stock up for a 'picnic' dinner followed by popcorn and a DVD!

Lovely to have a nice relaxing evening with good friends.

Day 141- Friday

Have a good lie in. The girls head to the pool (still sandy!) and I spend the morning sorting out washing and tidying the house. Can't have mum coming home to a messy house!

In the afternoon I join the girls by the pool. Sit in the shade and have a chat. We decide to head to Barasti tonight for a few drinks and dinner. We plan to go early and get a good seat- doesn't happen! Forget it's a Friday so the bar is full of drunk post-brunch people! Anyway we manage to have a few drinks (not me, I'm  driving!) and a nice meal.

Day 142- Saturday

Have to go to work again! Send the girls to the pool again! Feel bad that they have come to visit and then I am out of the house so much. Has been really nice having them here and I love the way when you meet up with good friends it seems like you saw them yesterday. It has been really relaxing and just like old times when we all lived together.

We round off their visit with take away pizza! Eaten so much and so much rubbish. The diet really has to start soon!

So the girls are going early tomorrow and mum is flying back and meeting me at the hospital. Number 9 tomorrow! My chemo player this week is Man City's Vincent Kompany. Getting through these players!

Gossiping

Day 139- Wednesday

Yay my friends are here! Soo good to see them and they bring lovely birthday presents and percy pigs! They are really tired after their night flight- noisy kids in front of them! We head to Dubai Mall for lunch by the fountains and of course a Cold Stone Creamery!

Back home so we can all have a snooze! Then pig out with an Indian take away!

Have a lovely day catching up and gossiping.

Neuropathy

Day 138 Tuesday

Wake up early (only 6 hours sleep) and polish upstairs. Have to keep doing the housework in sections as it makes me breathless with the exertion. Think this is to do with my haemoglobin levels.

Realize today that I do have neuropathy in my fingertips, I just hadn't realized before.  I was getting painful pins and needles now the tips of all my fingertips are numb. Can't feel the texture of things and everything things rough. Particularly weird when you touch your own skin! The other day I dropped a glass because I hadn't realized I had actually picked it up. Slightly concerning as my fingertips are really quite important for my job.

Head to Spinney's on my own for the first time since October! It takes me over an hour to get a few things as I am so breathless and weak. Really shocked how much it has taken out of me. Even have to ask for help packing otherwise I wouldn't have made it home. The chemo is definitely catching up on me but suppose that is 8 cycles that are slowly destroying my body.

'c-bear' and 'dad', my two best friends from home are arriving tomorrow very early. Really looking forward to seeing them but disappointed I don't have as much energy as I did a few weeks ago. Still you don't need much energy when you are just catching up with good friends. Hope this sand storm passes as I have promised them good weather!

Housewife duties

Day 137- Monday

Terrible night's sleep. Couldn't get to sleep until 4am! Wide awake just lying there thinking things over. I hate this time of night as you feel like you are the only person in the world who is awake. Figured I should just lie there rather than getting up so at least my body, and my back, were resting. I hate the way on my bad week all I can do is sleep and then on my good week I have insomnia. Just typical!

So today is the first full day on my own for 137 days! I have to admit I wake feeling a little anxious. Don't know what I think is going to happen! House work is what needs to happen! And I have to say I quite enjoy it. I do the washing up, wash the sink, do two loads of washing, tidy the lounge and polish. The house looks lovely and tidy and I am proud of myself. Doesn't last for long as Buddy drags in a poo, a bush and shreds the paper!

Also email the American Hospital. I have been in talks with them to help them design a patient information booklet on bowel cancer. I have sent over my ideas so hopefully hear from them soon.

Meet the surgeon from Newcastle today. He is over visiting family. Really nice guy and extremely knowledgeable. We discuss my scans and my options. If either of the lesions on my liver have grown at my next re-scan then I will need surgery to remove them. Hopefully that would just be key hole surgery so a quicker recovery. We also talked about long term scanning and monitoring. Although he is unsure what the small spot is I definitely feel better and more confident about the future. He is a guy you can trust and I would happily let him look after my liver for me. He also recommended a different type of MRI scan that is available in the Uk that would be able to give a definite diagnosis of the larger lesion. If I don't require surgery then I think I will have this scan in August when I go home for a visit. Matt and I can have a romantic weekend away in Newcastle!

We picked Holly up from work and had a cake. She has had a good day and the job sounds good. Holly is working for the COO and Matt finds it hilarious to say 'coo, coo' like a pigeon every time he sees her! Feel that joke is going to get old quickly!

Cook my first dinner tonight! Like a proper housewife today!

Sore back

Day 136- Sunday

Holly's last day without work today so we decide to head out shopping! Ikea first to buy picture frames and then on to Town Centre Mall to see TKD. The shop looks lovely and the dressing room area is really relaxing. In fact Holly and I got a little too comfy on the arm chairs and were late picking Matt up from work! Felt terrible, it's like leaving your kid at school!

We also find a hobby craft shop. This is Holly's dream. We buy wool because I have seen something on line I want to make for the spare room and Holly buys knitting needles so that when c-bear is out visiting this week she can teach Holly to knit!

My back is a bit tweaky today (that's a posh physio term if ever I have heard one!). Due to too much sitting around and a weak flabby tummy! So time to take some of my own advice!

We head to dinner at Shakespeare and Co and we are seated upstairs inside as there is a bit of a sand storm today. It is like sitting in an over the top 50's B & B! Chintz everywhere but also retro cool!  When we get home the dogs have taken the wool out of the shopping bag and 5 balls are now one big soggy mess. So cross! It is going to take me ages tomorrow to unravel all this. They have also been through some photos I have had developed. They have eaten about 6 photos one of which is from my hen party where they have eaten everyone else and just left my face!

On a positive I turned down pudding at the restaurant and haagen dazs on the way home, but then I succumbed to some Ferrero rocher easter egg! It is delicious as the egg is made with crushed hazelnuts! Oh well, bought some fruit so maybe diet starts tomorrow!

House shopping

Day 135- Saturday

Soo hot last night! Summer is officially here. The plants are starting to die already and it's too hot to walk the pooches during the day time.

After a couple of hours of getting ready we all head to the mall. I need to buy coasters as Buddy has eaten a few of ours. Funny as you get older that you like spending money on things for the house rather than for yourself! I buy coasters, a mat for the dog's bowls and some guest bathroom handwash/hand cream! And I am very pleased with my purchases! We then head to M & S to stock up on biscuits and frozen food! Including chocolate melting pots!

Do my first spot of house work today with mum gone! I sort out the kitchen table and tidy the garden. It's a start at least!

JESS fete

Day 134- Friday

Up early with Buddy barking as Nanny has gone home! He needs time out and I have only been up 10 minutes!

I have been really bad with drinking recently, some days not even drinking a litre. I know it is bad but drinks taste horrible and then makes me feel sick. Also gives me heartburn. I realize that drinking more would help me flush out the chemo and therefore make me feel better. So today I head into Spinney's to choose myself some drinks. Decide on elderflower cordial, lime cordial, cranberry juice and apple and elderflower juice. So far I have been better today and had 2 pints of lime!

Matt and Holly spend the day playing Mario Kart to see who has to do the jobs! So far Holly has lost all the races so ends up making tea, making lunch, doing the washing up, putting the clothes washing away, sweeping and general tidy up! I head upstairs for my snooze! Think Matt is enjoying having a younger sibling who he can boss around!

We head to JESS Arabian Ranches for the school fete. Really good and I buy some bath stuff and we get loads of free hair products. They could obviously see I was in need of some help! Mum was jealous as she loves a fete! We finish with pancakes at Shakespear and Co that has opened near us. Really lovely quaint restaurant. Definitely one for our visitors.

Spend the evening looking at property to buy in England! Once I am back working we need to start saving to get on the property ladder. I have fallen in love with the idea of a cottage in Devon or Cornwall that we can rent out as a holiday let. In my mind I have already decorated it!

Take away for dinner now mum has gone!

Baldylocks

Day 133- Thursday

Manage to leave the house today! Mum, Holly and I head to the Polo club for lunch. I don't want to go but they force me. Have some lunch then whilst they are reading their books I have a sneaky snooze in the comfortable arm chair. You know your life is sad when that happens! Then head home and go to bed for an hour! Forgot to take my lunchtime anti-nausea med so end up feeling sick as well!

Mum is heading home tomorrow morning for her weeks holiday. She cannot wait! She is organizing so much to do she will come back exhausted. Will be weird being on my own everyday as Holly hopefully starts her job on Monday. Fingers crossed I feel good so I can look after myself.

Spend the evening doing an itinerary for when Matt's family and friends are here. So much to do and never enough time. I am just going to see how I feel day to day and hopefully will manage at least one daily activity.

Hair is getting really thin now and starting to lose some eyelashes too. Really depressing. My hair is also not growing in length at all. Probably the worse time to decide to grow it! Just need to hope and pray that I can keep something growing!

More fighting

Day 132-Wednesday

Panic over- managed to go to the toilet! Thank you for the advice though. Wake up this morning with a small cut on the left side of my mouth. Few cycles ago had a small cut on the right side that took 3 weeks to heal, not ideal!

Yummy mummy K comes round for a quick visit. The shop is all open now- TKD in Town centre mall. Yet to see the shop all finished but hoping to pop in early next week to have a look around.

Here's an interesting article from the Independent- not that I am promoting McDonalds's!

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/why-a-big-mac-is-sometimes-healthier-than-a-roast-beef-dinner-7565745.html

Buddy and Malika are still having a few little fights so Buddy's future in Dubai is still uncertain. He still may have to go back to the UK with mum. He is getting really big now and annoys Malika all the time by biting her. When she bites back he cries but doesn't learn the lesson. Yesterday she bit his face and caused a small cut. He went into shock for half an hour and needed to be consoled on the bed. An hour later he is biting again! We are trialing time out with him now on his blanket!

Hopefully just one more bad day then my life back again.

Good news from 'R'

Day 131-Tuesday

Little bit more nauseous today- as usual for the pump disconnect. Mum has finished painting the spare room so all ready for our future guests.

Heard good news from 'R'. Her operation has gone well and she is truly an inspiration. Definitely puts my battle in perspective. Hopefully her journey is easier from here on in and she can spend a healthy life watching her son grow up.

Having to write an awkward email to my health insurance  company asking for more money. In fact I need another 10,000 pounds just to cover me to end of chemo and then scans. They must hate me! I hope they don't increase my premium by too much! Thank goodness I got myself the top cover.

Bit constipated today which always sends me into a bit of a panic. I have tried fruit and walking. Matt thinks caffeine is the answer so just had a tea and an earl grey. Hopefully works. Can't have fruit juice as too cold. May try some tummy massage later. Any other ideas people?

Uneventful

Day 130-Monday

Pretty uneventful day. Feel much better than I did last night. Watched lots of TV today. Been on two short walks and had a 30 minute snooze. Even managed to go in the car to pick mum and Holly up from Spinneys!

Watch Gorge Clooney in 'The Descendants'. Quite a good film and probably his best one since 'One Fine Day'. He looks old in it though not that Mum cares, she loves him!

Anyway off to bed now and hoping that tomorrow is a good day- pump out.

Unpleasant start to chemo

Day 129- Sunday

Chemo is uneventful. My heamoglobin and platelets are down but Dr K says this is to be expected. I have a repeat colonoscopy booked for the 18^th April as my first colonoscopy was incomplete because they had to stop at the tumour. Also this will see what has shown up on the PET scan and how my scar has healed. Slightly anxious as I was in such a bad way when I had the first one that I just wanted to have a diagnosis and get on with treatment. This time I am going in cold. Still if Tom and Holly can do it then so can I!

Everyone in oncology is up to date on the blog and apparently other patients have been discussing my blog since I was in the newspaper! All very exciting and hopefully helping others on their journey.

Buddy continues to be naughty and has dug two big holes in the garden- one under the decking and one under the patio. Very dangerous as they now collapse underneath you when you step on them. Mum has told him off and he is in 'time out' on the blanket! Tomorrow we are going to look up puppy training classes.

Do not feel good this afternoon and evening. In fact I feel the worse I have since chemo started- really weak, tired and sick. I have to have a snooze on the couch when Matt gets home as I just can't keep awake. Feel slightly better since I have had dinner but can't wait for bed time!

I am reading a good book at the moment. "Lone Wolf' by Jodi Picoult. Good story and I am learning loads about wolves! Didn't think I would be interested in wolves but really interesting to learn how they function as a pack. I love Jodi Picoult's books. She always researches her books really well and for someone who normally reads light hearted romantic books it is good to read something a bit more intellectual! I would highly recommend her books 'The Pact', 'Sing you home' and 'My sister's keeper'. Although 'My sister's keeper' is a little close to home if you currently have cancer or have someone close who has cancer. Bit of a tear jerker as is the film.

So I'm off to bed now to finish my book! Chocolate- 1 KitKat senses and 1 fun size snickers, walks- 0 unless you count walking to and from the ward, weight- God knows! Thankfully they didn't weigh me today but I am guessing it is getting higher as skinny jeans are starting to get tight! (No  discipline!)

A hard day's work

Day 128- Saturday

Work today! My last day of being normal for the next week. Chemo has been playing on my mind all weekend. Really don't want to go tomorrow. My chemo player for tomorrow is Everton's Leighton Baines. Last chemo player scored so I still have my gift of choosing these players.

Takeaway, movie, bath and bed.

Disastrous breakfast

Day 127- Friday

It's Tom and Tasha's last day with us so head to the golf club for breakfast. I cover myself in factor 30 so I can sit on the terrace. Breakfast is a disaster-we waited 45 minutes to be served cold food. When we complained they gave us complimentary eggs Benedict whilst we were waiting for hot pancakes. The eggs Benedict were cold and the banana pancakes came without bananas!

Decide to join everyone by the pool by sitting in the shade. Not the same as sunbathing but manage to have a lovely snooze!

We open a bottle of fizz with dinner to celebrate Holly's new job. I have a sip and realize it doesn't taste as nice as I remember. Maybe I can be tee-total after all! We head to the comedy. Another good line up especially the last two. First time I have been crying with laughter at the comedy. Matt  got picked on because he was in the front row! A good night had by all.

Steak night

Day 126-Thursday

Up early to head to work. Soo great to see everyone. Have some lovely new patients and it's nice to get the brain ticking. Physio really is like riding a bike- everything comes back to me as soon as I ask the first question!

Head home for a snooze but end up watching Masterchef instead! Malika is in trouble as she has eaten mum's Cartier watch strap that has just been repaired! Don't think she will be forgiven for this one.

Everyone is by the pool. Really frustrating not being able to be in the sun. Firstly I am soo pale now I have lost my tan lines and secondly I miss all the gossip from our visitors who chatting by the pool. By the time I am allowed in the sun with my factor 50 it will be June and too hot to sunbathe!

Forgot to mention the other day that Holly has a new job confirmed. She will be PA to the CEO of Emaar hospitality. Emaar is a massive  company in Dubai and in fact own our estate and Matt's school. Really good job and she is excited. It is good with Holly staying here and I worked out that I haven't lived with Holly since she was 9 years old and I went off to Uni. It is only now that I see how similar her and Tom are in their characteristics.

We are of out tonight for the steak evening brunch. Question is should I have the delicious juicy fillet steak and sod the pain I will have later and tomorrow, or should I stick to more boring old chicken? Think the pain is worth it!

Today's quote- ' there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggles for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for'.

Amazing animals

Day 125- Wednesday

Had the best morning ever. We have seen Arabian oryx, sand and mountain gazelles, giraffes, cheetahs, monkeys, an Arabian fox, tortoises, parrots, flamingos, ducks, owls and a whole host of other birds.

We started outside the Palace in the more wild areas. It was like being on safari, with the 4x4 having to negotiate the sand dunes and just the deep sand in general. Scary and bumpy but definitely fun. Amazing to see the giraffes, oryx and gazelles roaming free in extremely large areas.

Next we head into the palace. There is a beautiful large lake with all the ducks and flamingos. Next we meet Phillip the Arabian fox. He is hilarious and is just like Buddy with his talking and big ears. We enter his enclosure and he starts to show off. Running around and shrieking, then nipping our toes and rolling over for a cuddle! He is a real character and we don't want to leave him.

We get the most amazing opportunity to meet the cheetahs. Declan, our guide, hand raised 3 of the cheetahs from birth for a month but now they are 13 months old. One at a time they were let out of their enclosure so we could stroke them. I was a little bit scared at first but couldn't resist a stroke. Their fur is really coarse and they purr when you stroke them. When they lick you their tongues are really rough. One of them nips Tom's knee twice! An amazing once in a life time opportunity.

To finish we get to see the stages of egg development. From the egg being collected to the chick hatching, there are different rooms with different incubators. As Declan gets out an egg that is at the final stages it hatches in his hand! So amazing and cute. Then Holly and I get to hold a quail chick that has hatched in the last minute. Soo cute, couldn't even really stand up!

We all had such a great time and Declan was really knowledgeable and taught us loads. We have been really lucky as this animal collection is not open to the public so we have been special guests today!

The morning has wiped me out though. Come home and have a 2 hour snooze but still feel tired, weak and slightly nauseous after. Everyone is heading to the mall for dinner but I don't feel well enough to go. Gutted that I have to stay in on my own. This 'good' week hasn't been as good as normal. Haven't had a whole good day yet. Have 3 patients tomorrow so need to have an early night so I am on good form. Dinner, bath and bed for me.

Naughty Malika

Day 124- Tuesday

Tom and Tash arrived today. Love having visitors on my good week. They dump off their stuff and head straight to the pool. When I get back in Malika is nowhere to be found. I sneak upstairs and find her lying on the spare bed surrounded by wrappers. She had broken into their hand luggage bag and eaten half a tube of Pringles, a packet of fingers, a twirl, a galaxy, a packet of wine gums and a bag of fizzy Haribo! If she is not sick tonight it is a miracle! She must feel awful!

My letter was in the paper today! Fame at last! Told Dr Salti that I may be being interviewed and he had a view points that he wanted me to mention! Thought they are useful points for everyone to see…..

1.  Do NOT assume that symptoms are just “hemorrhoids”

2.  Do NOT assume that bad things will happen ONLY to others

3.  Do NOT assume that colon cancer occurs only in OLDER people

4.  ANY intestinal BLEEDING needs to be checked by doctors, not through google!

5.  ANY CHANGE in bowel habits that persists MUST be investigated and checked by doctors

6.  DO NOT HESITATE to talk to doctors and make the doctor visit, despite privacy concerns and embarrassment issues when it comes to bowels

7.  Colon cancer is preventable through good diet habits and regular screening

8.  Colon cancer can be curable when detected early!

9.  Colon cancer may not be curable when detected in more advanced stages

10.  If something just does not feel right, it probably is not right! Better check it early than late

11.  DO NOT BE SHY TO SEE THE DOCTORS AND BE PRO-ACTIVE!

Have a family competition of Mario kart. Tash is terrible and it takes her 6 attempts to even finish a race!

Early night tonight as tomorrow we have a very special trip. We have been invited to a private viewing of Sheikh Hamdan's animal collection. We are being picked up at 6.30am. Very excited!