Some bad luck

Day 185- Sunday

Wake up excited to have chemo. I feel positive and excited. Wear my new dress from c-bear and 'dad' as a little celebration. The oncology team are all happy it is my last session (think it is because they are genuinely happy for me and not just glad to be getting rid of me!) and everyone comes to speak to me. Then disaster strikes. My portacath stops working- they can't get any blood out of it so it may be blocked. I am rushed down to have a Fluoroscopy- where they put in a dye and get real time images of the portacath. Whilst we are waiting a lady starts talking to us who has just been diagnosed with a really rare condition where her body attacks itself. She was admitted with a severe stomach bug and then went on to have a heart attack and end up in a coma. She is now on a low dose chemo drug to try to treat the condition. I believe I met her today to remind me that other people are worse off than me and I need to remain thankful and positive.

There is a blockage at the end of the tube so the blood can't pass through and the dye is coming out of the side of the tube into a different vein. Initially the Dr doing the test suggests I may need the portacath out today and be admitted to have the chemo in my arm. I can't believe my luck. My portacath has been working perfectly and only last cycle the nurses were commenting on how good it was. We must have tempted fate! I only need the thing to work for one more cycle.

Anyway Dr K sees the scan and says he is happy to do the chemo this last time through my portacath as the chemo will still pass into my blood stream. I ask about the blood clot. The last thing I need is to do 6 months of chemo only to go and die from a heart attack! He assures me that it tends to be a blood 'film' rather than a typical clot that they often see at the end of the tube and not to worry. Oh well I have to trust him!

It is decided that the oxaliplatin (the drug that causes the neuropathy) will be stopped this time as it is now affecting my function. The good news is that this drug causes all of the nausea so I should feel better this cycle and I don't need all my anti-nausea meds. Here's hoping I have a good last cycle.

I hand out my presents- ties for the men, Korres beauty products for the women and chocolates for reception. 'R' the accounts man seems genuinely shocked that he has a present and for the first time ever he is speechless. Haven't mentioned him before but he is hilarious! He has great banter and always makes us laugh as we are paying the bill. He has also been a great help with chasing my insurance company so well deserving of a present.

Mum and I pop to Karama to buy Matt an end of chemo present. I get him a lovely dark brown Mulberry wallet as his wallet is getting a bit old. Also try on a pair of nude Louboutins but they don't have my size. Just as well as I have had a lot of presents this week! Save them for later in the month! Head to the polo club on the way home for lunch to celebrate. We are both very good and have fish and veg for lunch that was delicious. I want to pay as mum's end of chemo present but have left my purse in the car! Sorry mum!

I think we may have had another 'spirit' encounter today. Buddy, who is very spiritually aware, was staring at the wall near the water cooler barking and he ran over to Matt who was by the cooler and grabbed his shorts and pulled him away. Then a noise started and we didn't know where it was coming from. Matt gave me an end of chemo card yesterday that is meant to play a song when you open it but it is broken and doesn't work. I placed it on the TV stand and it is that that has started playing without anyone going near it. Once we worked out what it was it played for another minute and now it has stopped. Hopefully it is just the spirits saying 'happy end of chemo' and not saying 'the blood clot is going to kill you'!!

Yummy mummy 'K' comes round with little 'E' and brings an end of chemo gift- some candles that smell of cookies, mint chocolate and cherries, delicious! Very kind and I have had some lovely facebook messages and text messages from friends today. Appreciate that people are following my journey and supporting me from afar.

Watch 'Britain's got talent' with dinner. Ask mum what talents we have that she is proud of. Her answer…

"I'm proud of you because you help people, I am proud of Holly's language skills and Tom, well Tom is Golden balls so he doesn't need a talent"! Hilarious!