Nearly there

Day 166- Tuesday

Had a great dinner and catch up last night with lots of laughs. Wake this morning with the biggest hair you have ever seen. Me rolling around on the pillow combined with the half bottle of spray we used yesterday has resulted in back combed looking hair! Decide just to pat it down and go with the big hair today!

Mum and I head to the mall to get some presents for some special people (all will be revealed at a later date!). I decide at the last minute not to take the chair and I do struggle a little. Dubai mall is so big and we went to shops we didn't know so lots of walking around. We try a Papa Roti, on yummy mummy 'J's recommendation and the 'bun' was delicious. Will definitely be taking Matt and Holly there.

Watch The Voice over dinner and today's song is from the show. This guy is amazing! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvfBxXvD9cI&feature=relmfu

I share out yummy mummy 'J's chocolates after dinner. They don't come with descriptions so it is a little guessing game! There are 6 left for tomorrow night so we all get one then there is going to be a dance-off for the extra one! How we entertain ourselves in this house!

Mum's flights are all booked to go home at the end of May once chemo is done and Holly has found a flat and is moving out next weekend. That means by June 1^st our house will be our own again! Only 2 1/2 weeks until my last chemo! WOO HOO!

The best day

Day 165- Monday

Have a busy day today. Lunch with yummy mummy 'J', coffee with a Uni friend who I haven't seen for about 8 years who is here on her Honeymoon and then dinner with yummy mummy 'K' and her husband!

I can't go back to sleep after Matt leaves so I get up and mum trims my hair. It hasn't really grown in the last few months but we are hoping that by removing the straggly ends it will look thicker! It only takes her 10 minutes to cut the lot! Then we try a henna hair treatment, some volumising hair spray and a bouffant style blow dry. The result- definitely thicker looking!

Have a lovely day. Have a great lunch and a good catch up with yummy mummy 'J'. She very naughtily buys me chocolates and tells me all the best places in Dubai Mall to buy cake! So nice to be normal and discuss other people's lives. Baby 'A' is gorgeous and a real boy. He has a naughty glint in his eye and a cheeky smile. I am lucky that I have such supportive lovely people around me in Dubai and I can't wait to be well so I can start socializing with them more.

Then pick up Matt and head to the Westin. I haven't seen 'L' since uni and I have never met her husband. Spend a lovely few hours sitting at the pool bar over looking the sea, having drinks and mocktails for me, talking about our lives. Really nice to get to know 'L' better and we arrange to meet up for a 'Red Rose' (the best curry in Surbiton, where I am from in the UK!) in August when we are home. Although I haven't spoken to 'L' in years she has been really supportive during my illness and it is just another example of how bad news makes you aware of great people around you.

Now we are off for our dinner date! Really has been the best day!

Today's quote-' Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore'.

Poor Buddy

Day 164- Sunday

Poor Buddy is brought to the vets. He is desperate to get in the door but after today I bet it is a lot harder to get him in! The operation takes about 30 minutes and they are going to phone when he is awake. We leave him being dragged off by the nurse. She is a nice lady who explained everything well so I trust her to look after my baby!

I have plans to do some work and mum plans to carry on making our blinds but we end up sitting in Starbucks for an hour reading magazines then watch films all day! Before we know it, it is time to pick up Buddy and Matt!

Buddy's op has been a success but I feel sorry for the little fella! We have had to put a cone on him again as he keeps trying to lick the wound and then crying to let us all know it hurts!

Decide that from tomorrow I have to start an exercise programme of lying and seated exercises. My legs are so weak that after sitting for a while I struggle to get up. I don't want to get to the end of chemo and be too weak to do anything. Also if I need surgery I need to be as strong as possible. I am literally the worse patient because if I had been my patient this never would have happened. I would have given daily exercises from the beginning that could have been modified according to fatigue levels and I would still be relatively strong now. Anyway, can't change the past so just need to get on with it now.

Today's quote-' There are no shortcuts to any place worth going'.

Blue Saturday

Day 163- Saturday

Don't sleep very well. Keep dreaming that I can't get to sleep and end up thinking about liver surgery. This then never helps me get to sleep. Wake feeling a bit depressed and lie in bed thinking about my future. Feeling a bit sorry for myself and as a result just don't feel so good in myself. Just think I hope I am not going through all this just to get bad news in the end. Have a little cry. It's weird how waves of sadness come over me. I think it's as I am approaching the end of chemo it is making me think that it may not be the end of treatment, like initially hoped. Feel the usual sad, frustrated and angry. Deceived and cheated by my body that was just slowly letting me die without too many symptoms. Need to buck myself up and get on with my day.

Feel like I am cheating people who think I am inspirational and being positive. Don't feel very inspirational, just feel like a negative nancy! I am just doing what I have to do to get through the day, tick another day off the calendar, waiting for my life to start again. Written like that, doesn't sound very inspirational does it!

Head to the beach for an Up and Running staff day out. Good to catch up with everyone and Matt does some surfing. It starts off cloudy but the sun soon comes out. Before I know it I am burnt! Time to go home and have a snooze!

Grand national horse race in UK today so we choose our horses for my brother to bet on. I choose Hello Bud (for my baby!), Chicago Grey (for the American Hospital) and then my outsider is Tharawaat (as it sounds like an Arabic word!). Keeping my fingers crossed. Doesn't work as I don't win! Horrible race to watch and a few horses die.

 Finish the weekend with a lovely shepherd's pie and The Voice. Up early tomorrow as Buddy is going in to be castrated!

Busy Friday 13th

Day 162- Friday

Wake feeling good with the sun shining and birds singing. This is why I love being in Dubai. Decide to get up and get myself showered first thing so I am ready for the day.

We head out to the fair and meet 'R' and 'J' for coffee. I feel good so we stop of at Shakespeare & Co for lunch on the way home. The plan is to see Titanic 3D tonight at the cinema. Unfortunately when we get there it is booked up so we see The best exotic Marigold hotel instead. It is a good film and has us laughing. We go to the premier cinema where you get recliner seats, pillows and blankets and served hot food at your chair! Only in Dubai!

Get lost coming home and it takes us an hour. My eye sight has been getting progressively worse although Dr K assures me it is nothing to do with chemo. Still I think it is now safer that I don't drive at night until I have been re-tested. Tom just had to get glasses for the computer and I laughed at him so this is probably karma!

Good week

Day 161- Thursday

Feeling ok. Been really pleased with this week. Definitely the best chemo week so far. Maybe it is the vitamins I have started taken or the red meat! Such a relief to feel half human though.

Forget to have my walk and by the time I remember it is bed time and I am soo tired. Early night so hopefully good tomorrow as there is a craft fair we want to go to.

OK day

Day 160-Wednesday

No feeling too bad today which is really good. A little tired but no nausea. In fact I keep forgetting to take my nausea meds because I feel OK.

Spend over an hour trying to book our flights to return in August! After 4 attempts it won't let us pay and when we then phone to book they try to charge us 70 pounds for booking on the phone! Stressful waste of time. Will have to try again tomorrow!

Watched a few films today as well. Coped well today so fingers crossed for an alright day tomorrow. Think I am coping better as I know I am getting close to the end so feel more upbeat. Also my body must be getting more used to it. Long may this continue!

Had a quick walk with the dogs but really humid tonight. Don't want it to get too hot over the next month otherwise I will have to stop the walks altogether.

Today's quote- ' Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday'.